Finally, after days of non-stop outings I can have some quiet and peaceful time to relax and think about sex updating my blog. Going to be quite occupied this week since my cousin from Australia is here for a visit. So expect some more pics soon as I bring him and his gf to go around Penang and see ah kua's the historical places and other tourists attractions. But I'll get back to this once I have the photos of our visits.

For now, I just wanna blog about the breast augmentation or enlargement, whichever is deemed offensive to you ladies out there. *LoL* As far as I know, these surgeries cost you a fortune and it's usually painful. A price you have to pay to look and feel good? Well, personally I don't think so. There are actually more shitty things that you have to deal with after you had a boob job done.

"Breast augmentation is one of the most frequently requested surgeries. Implants are inserted behind the breast tissue of each breast or behind the pectoralis major muscle thereby increasing the size of the breast. Silicone implants are made of thick material and filled with either saline or an antibiotic solution during the operation".

I'm not a person who is good with numbers and scientific names so I won't say much about the facts and risks of having such surgery. Instead, let's talk about its consequenses. So, what do you get out of this "self-improvement"? You get more attention on you when you appear in public. Both men and women will be seen turning heads as you waltzed down the street. Bear in mind that we're in Asia. Any lady in a cleavage baring dress is bound to have countless pairs of eyes oogling at your pair of assets as though they've just seen two bulging oranges gold in colour. The level of awareness that you create could be less significant if you're just in a t-shirt but nevertheless, you're still eye-catching with those "modified headlights". Imagine how many ah kua's (transexuals) will be jealous of you and envy your assets when you walk along Penang Road. That's not something you ought to be proud of because you will be making more enemies. Those haters stalk you and knock you unconscious, stabbing repeatedly on your melons like minced pork. Now imagine THAT! Scary huh? ^_^

Another bad after-surgery effect is the sleeping difficulty that you'll be having. No, not insomnia la~ Imagine the discomfort you would be feeling when laying down on the bed. It would feel like one side of your chest is pulling you to position yourself sideway and vice versa since you added extra weight into them. You also can't sleep on your tummy anymore, because that will cause some unwanted "leakages" on your chest. But that's highly unlikely since the man sleeping beside will use it as an alternative to pillows. *LoL* Well at least that's the positive side of having your boobs enhanced. Plus you'll never have to worry about falling off your bed when there's a man grabbing hugging you tight.

Difficulty in your routine workout. Doing aerobics and other forms of excercise will still be possible. But will take some time to adjust to it. Why? Take jogging for example. You used to jog alone around the neighbourhood and along the field where the elderly people and children go to go about their daily activities. Now that you are slightly 'enhanced', all of a sudden you notice those fat as well as skinny bald ah pek (old men) jogging around too. Wherever you jog to, they can be seen just around the corner. What a "coinsidence"~! Look at them, jogging past you and greet you while baring their fake teeth. But you can't blame them ma. Your boobs are also F.A.K.E! *LoL* Not only that, you could only do three rounds of jogging around the park instead of the usual seven. That's because you have those extra burden that you carry around on your chest. Sigh, you suddenly feel that the gravity is not the same anymore. It makes you feel that you're fat. But I think that only applies on dumb blondes.

New set of lingeries, particularly bras are also necessary since those enhanced "assets" can no longer fit into them. Even if they could, it won't withstand the bulging effect for long. Time will tell. Sooner or later there will only be D cups and F cup sized bras & bikinis hanging in your closet.

I really have nothing against this form of self-enhancement. But I'm also a person who prefers the natural/original/real thing..... honestly~

Imagine you're a visitor to Penang. You have been driving for hours, all the way from Johor/Perak/K.L. You feel tired and sleepy, just wanting to reach your destination to get some rest. Not long after passing the Penang Bridge, you notice some odd lightings in the form of giant silinders at a roundabout nearby.


How are you going to react to this sight? Some probable responses from drivers could be as follows:

a) Cover eyes and shout in hokkien, "Argh, ma chao hai! Wa eh bat jiu arhhh~!

b) Stop the car, take a picture of it and laugh and laugh and laugh.

c) Stare, stare, stare ..........CRASH~!

Seriously, I have no idea how such project could be approved by the government. I heard that those standing kuku chiaos monuments cost several hundred thousands of ringgit. Look guys, this is what the government did with the money we paid for tax!! How wonderful. 'Bagus'! 'SYABAS'!! *Claps claps claps claps* Good job! Malaysia really 'boleh'!

When it was still under construction, I expected it to be half decent with a bit of lameness. But this is just so freakin' ridiculous. Heck, the roundabout looked even better before they planted the laughing stock there. If they can come up with something like that as a beautification project, why didn't they think of putting a giant mosquito repeller there?? Sure it will look odd too, but at least it will be USEFUL. Think of the thousands of dengue carrier flocking to the tempting light and got their asses zapped. Think of all those Shieldtox/Ridsect's that the govt. could save us and letting us spend that money on something else.

This will no doubt have all the eyes around the world on Penang. Tourists will come and snap pictures of this masterpiece of shit and would probably show to everyone and have a good laugh about it, like what I'm doing now. AHAHAHAHAH!

KNN~ Those silinders would have looked more interesting if they were transparent and contain some baboons, so we could see them fuck mate in public when they get horny. Hmm, now wouldn't that be steamy? *LoL*

Beautification my A$$~!

Spent the entire Sunday evening in Dewan Sri Pinang to see what is it like inside there witness the graduation of future beauticians and the make-up competition which exhibits hair raising eye catching hairdo's and really thick and colourful make-up. That was also my first time at D.S.P.

Viewed from the first floor. Yellow shirts are the make-up contestants, busy mutilating decorating their respective models.





Look at the bird's nest on her head :-P

The most colourful of all. Also the eventual winner in the competition.

After finished putting on make-up, they're now heading to the auditorium.

Moon cake festival is here. Time to burn light up the lanterns. Yeah, this is the time for lantern festival for the kids. Actually, it has already started last week. So, what significance does the moon cake hold among the Chinese around the world? Well, legend has it that the leaders from the preceding Sung dynasty (A.D. 960-1280) set out to coordinate the rebellion against the Mongolians without being discovered.

Since the Moon Festival was drawing near, the leaders of the rebellion ordered the making of special cakes. Backed into each moon cakes was a message with the outline of the attack. On the night of the Moon Festival, the rebels successfully attacked and overthrew the government.

Another legend, Lady O-Chang who was the beautiful wife of a skilled general, accidentally found the pill of immortality that was hidden by her darling general and swallowed (without thinking first). After that she just floated in the sky and towards the moon and got lost I guess.

To read more about the Goddess of the moon, click here --> The Moon Lady

There, I've finally discovered the history behind it. Done my homework. Time for moon cakes~

At first when I looked at this picture, I was thinking that somebody must have edited it with Photoshop or something. But when I looked it up through yahoo.com, I just realised that this is for REAL. Apparently this lanchiao 'dickly' pudding is a traditional treat among the British people. Gee, how come we don't have food like this in Malaysia?

This sponge pudding mainly cosists of raisins and spices. Maybe spices that are derived from dried semen? *LoL* Just kidding man. But seriously, of all the words in the dicktionary dictionary, why call a traditional food THAT?! Why can't it just be sponge pudding? Simple and sounds cute too right?

I wonder how the name will be when..no, IF it is put on sale in my country. 'Kotek berpetak', 'zakar berbelang' or possibly 'polka-dot-penis'. Interesting food with exciting names ;-)

Hmm, now I know why the Brits don't normally use the word 'dick' to call out the male genital (cursing) compared to Americans ^_^

As usual, I was enjoying my sleep in the cool windy morning (okay okay, the air-con was on). Was having my regular and routine of 'sweet dreams' but exciting ones. As I tossed and turned around my bed, hugging the boulster under my fluffy blanket, dreams were getting more real and enjoyable. I just let my imagination run wild.

There she was. Staring out the window calmly as she was waiting for me. Notice the two glasses? Yeah, those are for us to enjoy the wine. No kidding~

After the wine, I approached her and got closer. Just to look at her sweet smile and a horny seductive stare projected through her eyes.

Slowly, we moved to the bed nearby. She placed herself readily as she started to tease tempt me with a jaw dropping pose.

Then... *POOF* NOOOooo.. My fetish fantasy! GONE! I heard something near my head. It's the vibration from the handphone beside my pillow. I answered the call. It was a malay fella on the line.

Fellow Malaysians, you do know how certain malays in the country speak its own language. Different states with different 'slang' of the language. So as I was listening to him, I didn't quite get what he was saying. I felt like a thousand years old mummy who have just been awaken by scorpions clinging to his ASS. In other words, I was really PISSED. After he finished his enquiries, I just said "huh?! wrong number" and hung up. I closed my eyes so that I could get back to my maid in heaven. Before I could start flying back to Dreamland, that rotten bird brain called again! This time I immediately rejected the call.

For the next few times, the process repeated until I lost my mood to even dream. He called, I reject, he called, I reject, He called... you get the picture. Alas, I couldn't stand it anymore. I switched off my cellphone. Closed my eyes again and cool myself down. Not long after that, I switched on the handphone and I got an sms from Maxis. FOUR missed calls from that number. Yeah, the latest improved service by MAXIS which notify you how many missed calls got to your phone even when it's off. But I'm not here to boast about this.

Then, an sms from that dude came. I deleted it after I read it. Still the same thing. I don't get what he was trying to tell me. The message in B.M really reflected the way he talked. LOW STANDARD B.M! But I saw the words 'mana abang' and 'cilaka' in the text message. Hey you malay fuck face, you obviously got the wrong person and I am not your brother. YOU are the one who is 'cilaka' (jerk) for ruining my dreams and obviously you don't know any english because you even called so many fuckin' times even though I said it clearly that you got the WRONG NUMBER~! Can't you understand two words of simple english??! I replied him in sms saying..."salah nombor lah, sial! puki ma sama lu.. bangsat, jangan kacau lagi!!" Actually, my reply was only until 'salah nombor' *Sigh* Even though I was very pissed but I don't know why I was being soft-hearted still. The next thing I know, no reports of the sent sms. Well, not that I care. Wait, maybe he got into an accident while trying to call me? HAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Let this be an example of those who want me to unleash my wrath. You won't be safe from me unless you use a kind of call service that enables your number to be displayed as an unknown number. Otherwise, your number will end up here.. in Cyberspace for EVERYONE to see. I can even give your number to hungry 'ah kuas', horny grandmas and bisexual bald men if my mood is very bad.

+60125940159

Don't bother apologizing. Once I'm pissed, you're DEAD!!

It's been so many fuckin times people around me asked me to sign up in friendster so that I can see pictures of pretty girls, keep in touch with friends and some said will write a NICE testimonial for me. Please la~. As long as I'm being nice to people and people being nice to me in return, I don't need to read NICE things about me. I can live without those lame compliments from unknown 'lala mui' and 'lala zhai'.

Another thing is ar... IF I do sign up for friendster, I would be doing those spammers a favour and opened a new portal to make my cyber life more miserable. How?! Okay, these are the group of retards immature nobodies who like to forward trash so much that they don't realise that they could be pissing off people in the community and making more enemies instead of FRIENDS. Even though I may not have an account in friendster, but I know what it feels like to receive brain damaging forwarded messages because it is VERY common and happens often. So often that the purpose of an email is clouded by 10 year old kids who think forwarding chain mails is a cool and WISE thing to do.

Coming back to friendster. So the trend that has started some time ago is similar to that of the FWD messages in emails. One of the types of forwarded messages goes like this: "Hey there, this is a friendship rose/star/badge/shit. You have been tagged and you have another # of hours/days to pass this to your friends to see how many passes it back to you. Those who pass back to you are your true friends ^_^." LANCHIAO~! Do you actually expect me, the one and only Ah Wei Koh to follow that kiddy instruction just to see who my real friends are? Screw you! So what if I don't forward that message?! I will be called unfriendly? Lone ranger? 'Lan Si'? Also, there are forwarded messages that goes: "This bald kid is dying of malnutrition/cancer/tumour/AIDS, please forward this to your friends and pass it around. If you just delete it you have no heart. TIU~! You have too much spare time and nothing to do so you start sending me stuff to make me feel guilty?? Guess what? I JUST DELETED THE MESSAGE WITHOUT FORWARDING TO A SINGLE PERSON & LAUGHED!!. Yes, I am cruel. But hey, I'm not the one who caused the victims' plight okay? If I want to sincerely help the victims I would be out there handing out donations.

Apart from that, FRIENDSTER and other online communities that (con)nects people have loads of pathetic dumba$$es who like to type in languages that they think is so 'cool'. Examples are "Hey, I'm so boringz... wanna chit chatz?", "Wat r ur favoritez moviez?", "Haihzz, so sienzz." and many more. Oh wait. There are also those who like to add an 'S' to words that don't need it. For examples, "mans", "waters", "rainbows" and "moneys".

Moving on. One other thing that I found really really amusing and stupid is the knack of some users to COLLECT as many friends as possible. By this I mean adding as many pigs, cows, buffaloes friends as possible just to fill up an account and end up having multiple accounts. When I was exploring the friendster community with my friend's account, I was dumbfucked to see people having 7 to 8 accounts. Each can only be filled up with a few hundreds. Hmm... obssession? Perhaps. Stupidity? Yes.


Therefore I conclude that FRIENDSTER and other online communities are just a breeding test lab to determine the categories of morons who are yet to have pubic hair grown on their body. In order to be fair and reasonable to friendster users, I've even searched for bloggers who would blog about their experience in using friendster to back my claims. And I found one ;-)

Idiotic side of Friendster<--Click Me

p.s - I have many friends who use friendster and I have nothing against that online community. Just felt like giving the lame kids in friendster a piece of my mind. I still love my friends, really. Honestly. Sincerely ^_^"

To those Malaysian kids out there who are using friendster in a lame way, YOU ARE THE MAIN REASON THE STANDARD OF ENGLISH IN OUR COUNTRY IS DETERIORATING!

I am feeling very bored at this moment. Tried hard to sleep early but it always seems to fail. So here I am dropping by to add more wisdom nonsense to my blog. I'm really suffocating out of boredom right now that I'm worried I can't even write in proper english if I go on like this too long.

Now, I wanna begin with the guide to enjoying your donuts, Ah Wei style~! *LoL*

1. Get some donuts that are heavily covered with sugar. Self add in more sugar to increase the diabetic effect. No chocolate toppings required.

2. Slide in your middle finger into the hole. Take small bites from side to side as you munch away the thickness of its shape.

3. Remove the shrunken donut from your finger. Dunk it in a cup of hot choco or coffee, whichever you prefer.

4. Soak the remaining piece and mince it with a spoon. Now you can enjoy the dipped last pieces like how you eat cereal.

5. If that still can't fulfill your growling tummy, repeat from step 1.

**p.s Be sure pick the donuts with holes of the right size, otherwise you'll be stuck in step 2.

*LoL*. Okay then. My psychotic lapse has passed, time to sign off~. Zzzzzz

While I was on the way to my apartment on Sunday afternoon, I still see the 'jalur gemilang' being displayed by those so-called patriotic motorists. What the fark?! Do they get paid for this?






The independence day or locally known as 'merdeka' day was on the 31st of August. There were parades and all those stuff that you can think of for an event in conjunction with your nation's independence day. But that's not what I'm gonna talk about.

Actually, I don't feel like writing a long story for this at all. Call me ignorant, but I STILL don't feel the urge inside me to put those flags up on my car after all these years looking at other drivers and motorists putting them up. It's not that I hate the design of the flag or the colour of it. I just don't get it. Why would you even feel happy and proud to run around the country with the flag when, obviously remarks of racism and incidents of discrimination can still be observed through newspapers and the daily life interactions among the citizens?

Instead of showing the love for the country on just that particular day, why not make it every day by improving the appaling standard of the public services like transportation, education and casinos infrastructure? The government are willing to fork out a lot of ca$h on the celebration day but at the same time spent foolishly on the so-called beautification projects. In case you don't get it, the beautification project involves building "artistic" monuments in certain spots around the country. Yea, to boost tourism and attract more tourists. Those decorations will attract them alright, and make the tourists LAUGH OUT LOUD.

Enough said, this country where I'm hiding living has just turned 48. So not too much cussing for now ^_^

Yea, I purposely spelled the broadband service WRONGLY. Was very TU LAN annoyed and fed up when I couldn't surf or connect to MSN a couple of days ago. Apparently an old friend of mine told me that it was due to some 'problem' at TMNet. Haaih~ As usual la. All those boastings about how fast an mp3 can finish its download within a short time... finally it all crumbled down to the point of total embarassment.

As the number of subscribers grow large, the speed of the connection grows slow. Obviously. But only in our country. Fuckin' pathetic. Why? Because I have even read that broadbands in foreign countries offered lower price for a service so much BETTER and FASTER than the one and only, streamyx. Yes, many subscribers in its customer base. That means, many pissed off subscribers like me too. We pay them monthly fees for connection speed that is sometimes as slow as or even slower than the dial-up modem. The most common excuse you will hear from them is "the port is not available in that specific area yet" or worse still, if the residents in that particular area who applied don't add up to a satisfying amount for TMNet, they're gonna have to wait for some time for them to set up a port to enable broadband services. Port this, port that... Port 'lu eh chao cheebuy' man. This is like telling you, they are the monopoly company of broadband service and they want you to use their services but if you want it you're gonna have to shut the fuck up and wait.

Another thing that disgusts me is their ads. Yea, those stupid dances and making 'sohai' faces on the t.v screen. What their marketing team didn't realise is that entertaining ads don't REFLECT the quality of your services. Instead of using their profit (our $) to showcast moronic ads, they should be using those money to improve their maintenance of the connection speed. It is already farked up enough to pay for lousy services provided by them, yet they made it more miserable by making us watch retarded ads.

Do you feel cheated by a company that makes about RM 1 billion in profit, especially after watching their ads? I laughed in my heart when something like 'fast as a bullet' was mentioned in the ads. The major outcry in the newspaper not long ago has proven to be a moment of truth for TMNet. *LoL* Another 'piece' of moment of truth added to my collection alongside proton savvy. When will they ever learn that ads that are absurd and ridiculous will only make the impact hard should they ever FALL. Steamyx is indeed a BROADband service with NARROW size of common sense. I strongly urge that the government allow private companies that offer broadband services to be set up, foreign or local ones. This is of course to make sure TMNet don't slack off and give the people more choices.

TMNet, what is the point of having 1 or 10 gig per second connection if you can't even provide a consistent flow of connection of the basic speed??

Few moments ago I was on MSN chatting with an old friend of mine. We could chat just about anything, be it serious or funny or offensive. Just a while back I was listening to her story about a lesbo incident she encountered in the past. Got me really all hyped up that I wanted to hear more :-P Anyway I'm not gonna write much for now. When I normally hear people saying 'sweet dreams' to me, I usually assume a dream that would start like this:


Yea~ Someone like her waiting for me to go to bed. *LoL* I don't mind being dragged to bed early with someone like her ^_^ I'm off for now. Have yourself a pleasant wet sweet dream, guys~!

"Boasting a new image that exudes a 'hip' attitude, the Club Bottle's signature features are its embossed Carlsberg logotype and sleeker contemporary shape. This stands in line with the bottle's core essence of being trendy, savvy and youthful. It is specifically designed for clubbers and active urban socialites drawn to the core essence, hence it is only available in selected clubs and bars. This adds to the exclusive, unique feel of the bottle.

Malaysia is the first country in the world to promote Carlsberg's international Club Bottle with a targeted advertising and media campaign. Officially, the Club Bottle was unveiled on 7th April at The Loft KL, at yet another ultra-cool 'get2gether' party that was the talk of the town and featured in key nightlife publications."

Read that news from faces.com.my while surfing in the net. I mentioned in the previous post that I felt like getting some beer for myself. But till now, I still haven't get a drop on my tongue. So I just wandered around the web to see the pics of well known beers since I'm in the mood for it... very much!

As I surfed further ahead, I've came across 'Beer Museums'. Yup, a place that my country would never think of building. There goes another disappointment to the beer lovers. So the list of the top 10 beer museums around the world, based on AskMen.com goes like this:

10.The Brewery Museum
Pilsen, Czech Republic

9. Charlevoix Microbrewery
Baie Saint-Paul, Quebec

8. Bavarian Brewery Museum
Kulmbach, Germany

7. Stiegl's Brauwelt
Salzburg, Austria

6. "De Boom" National Beer Museum
Alkmaar, the Netherlands

5. Yuengling Brewery
Pottsville, Pennsylvania

4. Sapporo Beer Museum
Sapporo, Japan

3. Guinness Storehouse
Dublin, Ireland

2. Brewery Museum
Brussels, Belgium

1. Heineken Museum
Amsterdam, the Netherlands

I wonder why there's no Carlsberg Museum :-P Anyway, I still want to get my hands on the new Carlsberg bottle. Maybe it will cost more than the normal ones. Heck, not that I care. I drink both Heineken & Carlsberg anyway ^_^ Don't know if there are pictures and illustrations of the museums I mentioned. Too lazy to find them. So, bottom's up~ Cheers!